Why Can’t I Stop Drinking as a Gay Person?

Why Can't I Stop Drinking as a Gay Person?

One of the most common questions anyone will ask a gay person who has a drinking problem is, “Why can’t you stop drinking?!” While it is understandable that you would be frustrated with their destructive drinking habits, this is not a helpful thing to ask someone struggling with substance addiction. Not drinking may seem like a simple solution to someone on the outside, but it is much more complicated to a gay person with an alcohol problem. So why is it so difficult to quit drinking as a gay person? 

Factors that make it difficult for a gay person to stop drinking 

There are several factors that can make it difficult for a gay person to stop drinking on their own, here are just a few.

Alcohol is readily available. 

Alcohol is one of the most easily accessible substances in the world. Liquor stores are everywhere. Alcohol is sold in restaurants, shopping malls, and public gatherings at most parties and get-togethers. This is why alcohol is one of the most difficult substances to quit. It is hard to stop using something when it is constantly thrown in your face. Alcohol is a huge part of some countries' culture. Therefore, any gay person trying to get sober will have to learn how to deal with this.

Alcohol addiction recovery requires a complete lifestyle change. 

Even though quitting drinking is not easy, staying sober is what is truly difficult. Most gay people can stop drinking for at least a day or two, but learning how to live a life of recovery will require a complete lifestyle change. If a gay person is unwilling to change their lifestyle, they will not be able to stay sober. For example, if a person is still going out to bars and hanging out with other people who are drinking, it will be difficult to stay sober.

Alcohol is socially acceptable.

Not only is alcohol a socially acceptable substance, but it is also seen as a requirement to have at parties and celebrations. There is no other substance that is as socially acceptable to use as alcohol. Because alcohol use is normalized, a gay person struggling with getting sober has a much harder time avoiding situations where alcohol will be present than someone trying to stop using heroin. Some countries' cultures promote very heavy drinking habits, and drinking is often seen as a “right of passage” into adulthood.

Some people would not be supportive.

Sadly, not everyone is supportive of a gay person’s decision to get sober and change their life for the better. The person who isn’t supportive of another’s recovery most likely struggling with a substance use addiction problem themselves. A gay person with addiction won’t support another gay person getting sober because the other gay person’s sobriety will cause them to question their relationship with drinking. It is best to cut ties with gay people who are not supportive of the decision to get sober. It may hurt initially, but it will be for the best in the long run.

How do you quit drinking as a gay person?

If you suspect that your gay loved one is struggling with alcohol addiction, the first step is to determine how much the person actually drinks. Does one drink turn into four? Does the person find it hard to stop drinking once started? Answers to questions like these can provide insight into whether the gay individual is struggling to control alcohol addiction. It is also important that you examine why the person drinks or uses drugs. Is the individual trying to numb emotional pain or avoid stressful situations? Is the individual struggling with stigma and discrimination, and using alcohol to manage the emotions? The reasons behind the alcohol use can provide insight into healthier ways the person can cope with stress. Depending on what you find, you may need to seek additional help from an addiction treatment professional.

If you determine that their current level of alcohol use is dangerous or unhealthy, you may decide to take steps to limit the person's drinking. Involving friends, family, loved ones, and allies can be helpful to keep the LGBTQ+ individual on track to stop or limit drinking. You may even want to seek out a community of others for the person, such as LGBTQ alcohol detox, for added support. Other suggestions for cutting back or eliminating alcohol  for the gay person includes:

• Talking to someone.  Tell the person that they are not alone, and they do not have to stop using alone. Advise the person to tell someone they trust like a friend or family member about what they’re going through. There’s also help outside of their immediate family like an addiction therapist, counselor, peer support specialist, or online groups.
• Finding alternative activities. Encourage the gay person to use healthy new activities to fill the time that was previously spent drinking. 
• Avoiding triggers. Certain places, activities, or even people can trigger the individual's desire to drink. Advise the individual to avoid these triggers as much as possible.
• Handling urges. If you know that the person won’t be able to avoid a certain trigger, you should suggest that the person develop a plan to manage the urges or emotions that may result in avoiding the temptation to drink.
• Prioritizing wellness. Advise the individual to engage in healthy activities, including healthy eating and exercise, to help manage their emotions and boost their motivation.

Ready to reset your life and have more fun?

Pride Detox is here to help you enjoy a life free of alcohol. Together, we craft a plan that helps you achieve the alcohol-free and drug-free lifestyle you want. In very little time, you can go from constantly “thinking about drinking or using” to simply enjoying your life and having fun again. If you’re ready, contact us at 1-562-525-5501 to start today!