What Is Internalized Homophobia?

Have you ever felt like you're at war with yourself, struggling to reconcile your true identity with the negative messages you've absorbed from society? Internalized homophobia is a reality many LGBTQ+ individuals face, and it’s more common in our society. This toxic self-talk can be especially damaging when it's reinforced by societal norms, family expectations, or religious teachings. 

It's like having an inner critic that echoes all the harmful stereotypes and judgments they've ever heard about their identities. This can show up in various ways, such as feeling shame about one’s sexual orientation, struggling with self-acceptance, or even judging others in the community. It's that nagging voice that says "Maybe they’re right" after hearing something homophobic. Internalized homophobia is a topic that requires both empathy and honesty, as it touches on the very essence of who the LGBTQ+ person is and how they see themselves in a world that isn't always accepting.

Signs And Symptoms of Internalized Homophobia

Internalized homophobia represents a significant psychological struggle for many within the LGBTQ+ community, manifesting through various behaviors and thought patterns that negatively impact an individual’s mental and physical health. Internalized homophobia can surface in various ways that are often not immediately apparent to the individual or their peers. Typical indicators include:

• Self-denial of Sexual Orientation: This may involve the LGBTQ+ person denying their true sexual orientation to themselves and others, often praising heterosexual relationships and lifestyles over homosexual ones despite personal same-gender attraction.
• Negative Feelings Towards Same-Gender Attractions: Another sign of internalized homophobia for an individual is the constant feeling of shame, anxiety, or disgust towards themselves when experiencing same-gender attractions.
• Secrecy: Because of the social stigma surrounding the LGBTQ+ community, a sense of shame, secrecy, and self-imposed silencing may be an aspect of internalized homophobia experienced by members of the LGBTQ+ community. The sense of being peculiar or different is often central to the person’s identity. This can fuel patterns of secrecy that may have damaging intrapsychic and interpersonal consequences. The level of emotional havoc that secrecy creates varies from one LGBTQ+ person to the next. Examples of behavior rooted in secrecy include:

1. Keeping their relationships secret.
2. Engaging in aggressive and hateful behavior to enable denial of their true feelings.
3. Refusing to embrace the life and love they desire and deserve.
4. Forcing other people to keep secrets or remain in the closet.

• Fear of Affection in Public

The LGBTQ+ person may also be reluctant to show affection towards same-gender partners in public due to fear of judgment or discrimination illustrating the stigmatization internalized from societal norms.

Impacts of Internalized Homophobia For An LGBTQ+ Person 

The psychological and social effects of internalized homophobia are both wide-ranging and deeply impactful for a person. These effects include;

• Effect on Self-Esteem

Internalized homophobia significantly impacts an LGBTQ+ individual’s self-image and self-esteem, often leading to a negative perception of their sexual identity and inherent worth. This negative self-regard is not just confined to personal introspection but extends to how the LGBTQ+ person perceives their standing within both the LGBTQ+ community and society at large.

• Relationships and Social Interactions

The negative impacts of internalized homophobia often spill out into the lives of the people closest to the LGBTQ+ individuals affected. These people suffering from internalized homophobia may find themselves withdrawing from intimate relationships or exhibiting distrust towards potential partners, driven by a fear of being fully ‘seen’ or rejected due to their sexual orientation. This withdrawal can lead to a cycle of loneliness and isolation, exacerbating feelings of depression and anxiety.

• Physical Health

The negative effects of internalized homophobia are not limited to mental health; they also impact the physical health of the LGBTQ+ person. Chronic stress induced by ongoing internal conflicts and societal pressures can result in physical symptoms such as insomnia, headaches, and gastrointestinal problems. Additionally, the long-term stress associated with internalized homophobia can contribute to chronic health conditions like hypertension and cardiac problems, demonstrating a clear link between mental health issues and physical health outcomes.

• Substance Use

Self-loathing and the inability to feel comfortable within their own skin may also set the stage for substance use disorder. Alcohol and drugs like cocaine, marijuana, and benzos can serve as an effective way to silence negative self-talk. This can result in the state of being drunk or high. When drunk or high, the LGBTQ+ person can relax, forget the pain of discrimination or oppression, and for a while at least enjoy expressing themselves authentically.

How To Work Through Internalized Homophobia As An LGBTQ+ Person

The first step in overcoming internalized homophobia for an LGBTQ+ individual is by recognizing it exists. Once they understand that they feel internalized stigma, they can actively work to fight it. This can be done through the following ways;

• Education

The LGBTQ+ individual should be encouraged to read about internalized homophobia. They should try to know how it affects their life and the lives of other people. They should ask themselves questions and take the time to think critically about their answers. Oftentimes we have never given thought to all the external influences that impact our values, thoughts about ourselves, and thoughts about the world. 

• Learn More About LGBTQ History

Learning about the history of the LGBTQ+ community and their rights movement is also another way to get through internalized homophobia. This can be done by watching movies and shows that explore the history of the LGBTQ+ community. They can even be encouraged to find role models in the community they look up to, whether they’re people they know or celebrities. 

• Build A Support Network

Having a support network is very important. The support networks can help them to connect with other members of the LGBTQ+ community, whether it is physical or online. They can talk to their current support network about what they are feeling and what they need. The compassion and support of the LGBTQ+ community and allies can help them learn how to love themselves, even when internalized homophobia makes it feel next to impossible. 

• Remove Toxic Influences

For many LGBTQ+ people, these toxic influences can include their family, religion, friends, or workplace. It is not always possible to remove these influences from their life. However, If they can do so, it would be of great help to them. They can surround themselves with individuals who lift them and allow them to feel good about themselves. If they are at a point where the only thing they can do is focus on themselves and their actions, that is still enough.  

• Find an LGBTQ Affirmative Therapist

An LGBTQ+ affirming therapist can help the individual process their feelings of internalized homophobia and understand where they come from. The therapist can be a source of support to the LGBTQ+ person. So it's important to find a therapist they trust and feel comfortable opening up to.  

• Come Out (if safe)

Coming out is not a fix-all remedy or solution to internalized homophobia for an LGBTQ+ person, as it can come with its own set of struggles and consequences. However, if safe to do so, coming out can result in feelings of self-love, empowerment, and self-worth. Before the individual embarks on the coming out process, they should take time to think about the different impacts coming out could have on the different aspects of their life.  

Call Us Today!

Internalized homophobia is not your fault. There is nothing wrong with you because you have these thoughts or feelings. The first step in dealing with internalized homophobia is recognizing the impact it has on your life as an LGBTQ+ person. An important part of healing from internalized homophobia is finding an LGBTQ+ positive therapist, counselor or psychologist who can guide you through the healing and recovery process. It is also about finding a safe and welcoming environment that can help you as an LGBTQ+ individual overcome internalized homophobia. 

At Pride Detox, we believe that everyone deserves to live a life free from the negative effects of internalized homophobia and other mental health struggles. By integrating comprehensive care with flexible online access, we ensure that our LGBTQ+ clients can pursue their path to better mental health in a way that feels respectful, secure, and affirming. Contact us today at 1-562-525-5501 to begin your healing journey.